TIPS FOR A SUCCESSFUL CHRISTIAN COURTSHIP

Courtship can actually be very challenging, a lot of singles started with the hope of getting married but ended with both parties going their separate ways for one reason or the other. The following tips will help you to have a successful courtship in addition to the dos and don’ts of Christian courtship.

LOVE:

Even though it takes more than love to sustain a relationship, Love is still very key in sustaining a relationship, true love stands the test of time, any relationship built on material things without true love will surely collapse. If a guy truly loves you as a lady, He will not want to defile you before your wedding night. Don’t marry someone you don’t love, no matter the persuasion, Love transcends beauty or any other facial qualities. Let love be the bedrock of your relationship.

FORGIVENESS:

 No matter how much you both love each other, times will come when you will offend each other or have some forms of disagreement over issues that may lead to one party feeling offended, you must learn to forgive each other. Don’t hold grudges against your partner, be open to discuss and settle your differences. Don’t hold on to past mistakes and errors. Always forgive each other. Unforgiveness can lead to bitterness, hatred, suspicion and lack of trust which are all killers of relationship.

TRUST:

Trust is very vital in sustaining a courtship, if you can’t trust each other there is no point moving along. Without trust there will be gross suspicion capable of destroying the relationship. Some ladies have made up their mind never to trust any guy again in their life due to past disappointments; if you carry that notion into your new relationship then you can be sure of getting nowhere. The fact is that you should not even think of marrying someone you can’t trust. So learn to trust your partner. Many of our assumptions are not always right! The fact that you called her and she did not pick the call is not to conclude that she’s seeing another man or maybe she deliberately did not want to pick your calls. Be considerate and always put yourself in your partner’s shoes.

UNDERSTANDING:

As earlier mentioned, one of the things courtship period does is to allow the two parties understand each other. Remember you both have different minds, so you can’t think alike, it calls for proper understanding to actually flow together. Learn to be patient with each other and not overreact too quickly, take things gently and with understanding. Most of the things that cause trouble or misunderstanding in courtship are just simple things.

COMMUNICATION:

Without effective communication there will be lots of assumptions and misunderstanding. You both must be able to express yourself in a way that you both will understand, talk plainly not in parables! Don’t assume your partner knows what you are thinking when you never told him/her, don’t assume he/she should know what you are passing through if you’ve never told him/her. Talk about your plans and visions, talk, talk, talk! Also remember that your body language is also part of communication, your partners is also reading the expressions on your face. When you say sorry, does your body language say so too?

BOUNDARIES:

Christian liberty is not freedom to commit sin, you must at the beginning of the courtship and as you go along set boundaries to guide your relationship as Christians, your boundaries determine your no-go areas. If you don’t set boundaries soon you will discover you are romancing and doing a lot of contrary things to God’s standard of holiness. Never engage in sex until you are married, petting, kissing and romancing are manifestations of lustful desires!

PRAYER:

Even in marriage it is said that the family that prays together stays together. Prayer is very vital in a relationship as well as reading scriptures and your devotion to God. Learn to pray together, the bible says if two of you shall agree as touching anything, it will be done. There are forces of darkness that may be militating against your life or your future home, you need to destroy their plans in fervent prayers. You need to commit everything, to God in prayers. Jesus said watch and pray!

DO’S IN CHRISTIAN COURTSHIP

Most of the things earlier mentioned are things you need to be doing during courtship starting from praying together, discussing your future and so on, all these are vital to the success of the courtship and your home as well. I’ve also included in this write up some things that you need to discuss during courtship.

DON’TS IN CHRISTIAN COURTSHIP

These are some things you need to avoid in other to have a successful Christian courtship.

Do not be exclusive in relating with each other all the time.

Do not plan to isolate yourselves in dark or solitary places where you can easily be tempted, why should the two of you be praying alone in a dark room?

Do not give in to your passion and abuse your bodies for sexual sins – avoid petting, necking, fondling, kissing, sex – Gal. 5:6, 1 Thess. 4:3-7. Remember true love waits.

Do not watch sexually explicit movies, porn movies, or x rated films together or alone.Mind what you wear, don’t tempt each other, don’t say after all he’s your fiancée and he is a child of God and then use that as a license to appear semi-nude, or wear transparent clothes or dress with no underwear while he’s around. Guys likewise should mind what they wear.Don’t let your good be evil spoken of (Rom.14:16). Avoid sleeping in the same room or on the same bed during visitation or on a tour. A brother said he can sleep on the same bed with a sister and nothing will happen, then I asked even if nothing happens then what are you trying to prove? Are you proving you have a PhD in Holiness or what? Can you be holy by your self-will without God’s grace? Friend, run away from every appearance of evil, otherwise the news of your fall will fill the air soon. Be wise!Don’t plan to have a very long courtship! Courtship takes a lot of commitment, so don’t even start it if you know you will not have the time to be committed to the relationship because the price of relationship is commitment.Courtship is not a period of gathering for a one-in-town wedding celebration that you can’t afford.

DO NOT IGNORE WARNING SIGNALS!!! So many Christians are regretting their marriage today or already have a broken home because they ignore warning signals during their courtship. When we make mistakes in choices as believers, God in His infinite mercies have a way of bringing us back to the right track especially when we are sincere and faithful to Him, during such moments He finds a way of letting you know that you are in a wrong relationship capable of ruining your future, this He can do through dreams, or constant fear any time you think about your spouse to be or through any other means.. if after you have prayed rigorously about it in order to be sure that the fear or revelation is not from the devil and the experience still keep coming then you have to quit the relationship. Some sisters, despite the fact that they can see that the guy they are engaged to is wayward yet they still follow stupidly probably because they felt if they disengage they might not get another person again or for some selfish reasons, same goes for guys.

Don’t let her facial beauty or long (artificial) hair becloud you of warning signals. You know within you that something is wrong, but you are allowing your head to rule your heart, the end result will be a disaster! Call it a quit. A broken courtship is better than a broken marriage. Although it may be painful, you just have to do it and that is the reason why it is good to pray well and be very careful when choosing a life partner so that you don’t end up with heartbreak each time.